transformation junkie or perpetual quitter?
Am I a dreamer? Am I a manifester? Do you think I'm just lucky? Is it all just coincidence? Am I a risk taker? A gambler? Am I a transformation junkie?
Perhaps I’m a perpetual quitter…
What I do know is life is not passing me by. I am available for all of it. I am grabbing it with both hands.
I think the first time I really leaned into the idea that it was ME that was in control of my life
was age 15. A summer baby, I was the youngest in my year group and all set to head in to 6th Form (senior years in the UK) and I had a conversation with a teacher that prompted me to decide I wasn’t spending a second more of my life in school. I decided to go get a job and just figure the rest out as I went along.
As I think about this I realise I had also taken control a year before age 14. I was working in the school holidays and my boss at the sweet shop had left someone else in charge. I didn’t like the way they spoke to me and made me feel, so I quit. I felt it in my body, my intuition. So I just walked out right there and then on the spot. It was a whole shit storm but something told me I was out regardless of the consequences.
The job that I say I ‘fell into’ after school was one that I really enjoyed. The people were great, it was a social place and it felt like their were always opportunities - some felt they came to me and others I manufactured…or ‘blagged’. I never felt things were out of reach for me and I really trusted myself.
After about 12 years, several promotions to jobs other people were surprised I got, a marriage, a baby and divorce I walked away. I was flying up and down the country to meetings, being paid a fantastic salary, doing a job that on paper I was hopelessly under qualified for and I just volunteered to leave it all. I was a single mum with a car payment, nursery fees and a mortgage but something told me there was more. So I volunteered for redundancy with no ‘plan’.
This patten of walking out of jobs has continued.
I think I’ve walked out of at least 3 more with ‘no plan’. Each time my ability to hear myself and lean into trust has just grown and every time something even better has presented itself. If I hadn’t leaned into all of that possibility I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t have met my husband in the school I ended up working in after I quit my 12 year IT career. My eldest daughter wouldn’t have a brother and and sister. I wouldn’t have become a doula and a mentor and found out who I am here to BE. I wouldn’t have lived in Switzerland, the Middle East, and Paris and have multilingual children. I wouldn't have a daughter who has lived in 3 different countries independently of us in her 27 adventure packed years. The ripples of my transformation are WIDE and everyone I touch feels them.
The more you flex these muscles the easier it gets. That’s how I could sell all my family’s belongings and get my home ready to rent out BEFORE we knew which country we would be living in let alone where.
It’s how after 5 years in Switzerland we could decide we wanted to experience life in the Middle East and make it happen at exactly the moment we decided. How we could manifest a move to Paris, a house, the exact car….the list goes on.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could be, do and have all the things you’ve ever dreamed of?
Spoiler Alert: you can and if you click here I can show you how.